~guitar-insanity

Well tonight was random. apparently now I have a boyfriend, I'm actually happy about that for once. He seems like a really nice guy, and for once a guy who isn't creepy! That's a first. Camp was the time of my life. An hour dancing on table singing about pudding? FUCK YEAH! I miss it. I can't believe I cried when I left. As much as I didn't like my cabin I cried when I hugged my counsler Niri. She's amazing. She honestly is one of the sweetest people I have ever met.
The first week sucked, same with Yom Sahal which is an Israely army stimulation program. It turned out funny in the end. I just wasn't physically fit enough to do it. But I'm starting to work out with my sister and my mom! Besides that camp was great. Between the gay orgies, the romantic singing between two of the guys, the musical sing a longs or props and costumes it was all just great! Especially taking care of this cabin of 10 and 11 year old boys. These two twins are adorable! I honestly wanted to keep those kids. They were the sweetest things ever.
It turned out that this guy whom I have known since I was little, like he held my hand when I crossed the street, was one of my other counslers. Talk about one of the greatest suprises ever! He grew up to be halarious and one of the coolest people I know. For the other counsler Dafna, she is so funny! We danced and sang a lot. I couldn't have picked out better counslers myself.
I was told to get out of my dream world by my ex, Evan yesterday. It's funny I live in a dream world. Well at least my life is amazing. My head isn't totally in the clouds but it's pretty damn close. The only thing that may go wrong is the dentist and school tomorrow. I doubt it will, as bad as it sounds I can show off Branden, my new boy. Haha.
And to think I got him through my thoughtless rambling. How talented am I? That's the first time that that has done me any good.
Anywho I send everyone love. I got a lot of good vibes to send out right now.
Peace!

Wow, so I'm being borderline stalked. Not to mention blackmailed, all by my exboyfriend. I did feel special... now I'm creeped out due to the blackmail. If any of you talk to him NO I am not pregnant and even if I was it would not be his. But I am not. Any who, he will not leave me alone.
Besides all that life is almost perfect. My dad would not go paint shopping with me so he sent his Ukraining mechanic to. Well now he can't complain about the colours I picked, dark purple and grey-blue. I'm excited!
I finally have a way out of the city!! I can't believe it but I'm going to camp. Three weeks where the only way Evan can contact me is by letters. Life is sweet. I'm gonna miss Max and Daphne and Sara though but tis life. Max if you ever read this that you for being there for me so much lately.
I can't believe it but I have hickies, yes plural. It's so weird, but I can not wear half my shirts which sucks. Who the hell gets a hickey on their collarbone? Well I guess me.
Any who life is sweet besides the blackmail and stalkage. I'm writing a lot of music and dancing a lot. I like dancing. It's fun. Teehee.

It's over, finally. I left him. I don't think I could feel more guilty between the cheesy poems and the roses. I wish I could love him so much but I just can't care about him the same way he cares about me. Our one year was soon too.
I can't believe I almost had sex with him (a different him). His horny face looks kinda like a rat. It had only been a few days what was I thinking. Man was that fun though. I feel so free.
Then there's the third him, I love him. I would date him if I could. He's the only person I could see myself in a relationship with right now. Too bad it's illigal. If it wasn't I'm sure we would be happily in each others arms. To be with him is more then I could ever dream of. Oh Max why must you do this to me. You kiss me and then tell me I'm too young. I can't wait a couple of YEARS! But I'll do my best, for you. Anything for you.

I think I need a break from guys.

Well well well I guess I have a journal now dont I? I'm kinda tired it's 3: 19 am on a friday night and I ain't got nothin better to do,
no one to see,
no where to go,
just living my life and the fact that I've been sick in my bed.
I hate god damn flus. They make me crazy. Puking is for those with reason and personally it just causes me pain. I tend to vomit stomach acid and it looks so gross. So I didnt eat much for a few days untill today when I ate a huge ass dinner and felt gross after... joy.
back to soda crackers for me.

Just a girl
With a dream
Just another one
Trying to get by
Just a school
With some friends
Never knew
Whether they were real or not

Just a life
Like any other
Just another
Young musician
What makes me so special?
Who knows
Just a chance
Is all I ask